Is 2019 Going to Be My Year of Change?

Is it me or has 2019 been a long time coming? 2018 was one of the toughest years I’ve ever had, and I’m pretty sure many people can say the same thing.

Last year, I had many mental breakdowns. As well as personal and professional struggles. My mental health suffered, and I steered clear of making time for much-needed self-care.

I was going through a transitional period. Where I was losing my sense of self and how I thought of myself and the world around me.

At the start of 2018, I turned 26 and lost my health insurance. Luckily I was able to start a new plan right as the old one was ending. Yet, I found myself experiencing a new sense of adulthood. The thought of something happening to me and not having insurance was very daunting.

Your twenties are about figuring out what you want to do with your life. A series of personal and professional highs and lows that influence how you see yourself.

People can come into your life unexpectedly and leave just as quickly. Leaving you to decide who should stay and who you should let go.

I had moments of self-doubt when it came to my career. I didn’t feel confident in anything I was doing. Nothing made sense to me. I couldn’t see past the negativity that clouded my perspective of life. I felt like nothing was in my control, whether it was or not.

I kept searching for signs to lead me to some sort of revelation or “aha” moment. Assuring me everything was going to be okay.

At the end of last year, I turned inward and reflected on all that happened in 2018. I finally realized I needed to stop putting myself down. Yes, there were decisions I made that I shouldn’t have made and I said things I wish I could take back. Yet, it wouldn’t have led me to feel as if 2019 was going to be the year of change.

Last year was going to be the year of “me” (as all Millennials said via social media and funny memes). I made a promise do things I wanted to do, but I never made an effort to take elongated breaks from my work. Yet, I ended up learning more about myself than I ever did before.

Again, I felt like I was going through a transitional phase after turning 26. Believing that I didn’t have my shit together like most of my age group.

I was going through such a rough period mentally, I couldn’t see how taking a break would make sense. There were times I was either annoyed or frustrated at the people around me and didn’t want to be around anyone. So, I threw myself into work and burning out became a new toxic habit.

Going into 2019 I told myself that I was going to do everything I could to not let myself sink that low. I would do the things I never made time for last year.

Like planning weekend trips. Educating myself on my craft and hobbies, I’m interested in having. Spending more time with my family and friends. Meeting new people and having new experiences.

There’s something about the new year that gives you the chance to start over. When you hit the reset button, all your problems from the previous year go away. Or at least you persuade yourself to believe so. You get to set new goals and have new adventures.

Everything changes.

With the new year comes a new mindset. A unique opportunity leading your life in a down a positive path.

Something that will move you forward to who you want to become and where you want to end up at the end of the year.

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